superposition

***

you know what happens if i do

i’ll come with a destructive force 

contradicting myself

exalting myself

and in the process annihilate myself.

and yet no one no one no one is willing

all they see is the Yggdrasil
and the wealth of buffoonery

all for their ravenous eyes to see.

i have cut my ears 

i have blinded my eyes

i have cut my fingers

i no longer want to hark, or feel
anything

i only want to float 

in the sea of anonymity.

***

if everything is cryptic
meriting only finallys and smileys
on your part, because you can’t write
only speak in limited syllables
i with my neurotic bitter
pulsating madness
deranging our little arrangement
that i succumbed ultimately

have i lost? did i lose myself my soul my self my wit
was it all a ruse to see how long i can endure
your crumbling boredom
because frankly what i want is the unattainable
but i don’t know where he is (but i do)
only that he lives, somewhere (but where?)
with a friend of mine whom i taught
how to read to write and to live live live
sorrowfully like me
( i dare not to ask more)

imagine this,
i fashioned him to my likeness
or to the likeness of the ideal
watched him grow,
fed him my soul,
a babe who has outgrown me
deformed into a monstrosity.
all this out of boredom.
imagine me.

but where shall i place you?

***
meh pot, this is boring. aku nak gi mandi.