it ain’t anything

um, finished with labs this week. AVR. TIMS. MATLAB. MATLAB. honestly wrecked, but i suppose doing/learning new things at a whole new level is somewhat interesting. or fun. you’ll never know until you actually try eh? the same goes with cars and the driving i suppose, resistance is futile, sooner or later i’ll give up the idea. i suppose the idea of machinating/operating something that is bigger than yourself, that takes up space on the road, such you are subjected to its condition, that is, a whole new set of rules must be followed, with too many variables and senses to be aware of, or else, death. a heightened sense of visual awareness. the amount of interaction and distraction probably is scary. and scary is not even the word. flustering. i hate being in an, say, open system. or the open world. where your actions or inactions does affect another in real time. there are too many things on the line. it’s something like chess. i gave up chess because i am extremely reluctant of being observed and analysed in a situation where one is required to display skill or intellect, or simply, any form of exertion. all of this, in real time. i’d rather pent my self up and try anything and fail a hundred times by myself than to be seen failing once.

i hate to be examined.

yes yes yes, i’m learning french on my own again.

ah, gila.

at any rate, i have to eat this morning’s half eaten banana, with a surplus of milk, since F apparently braked/stopped(?) the car a little too sudden, propelling the bottle to the car floor, making a nice little puncture, and out pours the milk yay.

also i accidentally held on to a guy’s hand for full five seconds without realizing it after nearly tripping over on the bus. gaaaaah. he said he didn’t recall his wife was on the bus as well.

and we burst into laughter.