god stuff.

Everybody’s getting preachy and pious these days, that everywhere I go stinks of piety. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, in fact, it’s all good and great if you happen to go through some spiritual enlightenment/advancement, but you gotta sorta make it your personal thing. I mean, this god stuff is supposed to be between you and the lord in the first place. Not by being preachy or anything.

Of course, without being that, you’re actually being pretty much selfish in your own knowledge. That’s why you feel the need to spread the word in the first place. But what I think is, and what I truly think is, you have to have a sorta conviction yourself.

What I mean by this conviction word, is certainty in total. You gotta believe the stuff your saying, and even have to act on this certainty to carry out its principles. By believing, I don’t even mean without question. You gotta sorta understand the stuff you’re saying in the first place, knowing its purpose and both literal and hidden meaning behind every single stuff. You’re not doing this because you’re supposed to, rather it comes from a sincere and a most humble origin; the heart. It’s an act of love.

Heck, I even debated this thing last year with someone’s brother, asking why do people believe in god in the first place. Is it out of fear, or being afraid of getting into hell, or it gives ’em people comfort? He attacked me, fiercely (ugh), laying down his arguments against evolution and that sort of stuff, mistakenly perceiving my question as a sort of ‘proving god’ thing. What I meant was, “O-kay, god exists… then what? What happens then?” sort of thing, formalities of religion aside. I always give ’em a dirty look. Anyway, what he said was he can’t even explain it, in fact, the most satisfying answer he can give me was… “for me, it is love”.

It sounded cheesy in the first place, I tell you, all this “love” stuff, back then. But now, I understand.

Perhaps I am not one even qualified to say this, because I do not regard myself as being religious in the first place. To some extent, spiritual. But religious, at the current situation, not yet. One does not simply change after reading a new book, or going to some talk, or ceramah.

Faith is a hard thing to acquire, achieved only through risks, going down to the depths and the very foundation of religion, pondering upon the meaning of life, searching for purpose, having moments of doubt. And what’s even harder; retaining faith.

Now, I’m being preachy. Yeah.