lingering night

I should go to sleep now. It’s 3 in the morning, and I’m staying up for nothing. Perhaps it is the knowledge that most people lay peacefully in their own beds, leaving the night alive in its own darkness.

I enjoy nights like this. When you have no other obligations to do, no one to bother you, nothing to read, nothing to watch, and just stare at the ceiling, and write something, draw something, and just let loose whatever comes to you. Even sitting still seems blissful. With accompanying music, or course, if you’d like to.

But nights like this are rare. You’d have to manage to push everything aside, and clean yourself up (shower), arrange things accordingly in your room, then find a nice spot, and just. let. go.

when morning comes, reality will hit you again, majestically, presenting paradoxes, complexities, problems, affairs, it smacks you right into the face that you crumble, stumble, and break down.

but tonight, there’s only you and that shroud of darkness, that engulfs you, blanketing you from the cruel nature of reality.

tonight, you are content,

even for a while.

post script – today, i turned 18. how annoying.