what she did was probably no more than a innocent gesture, an impulse, or as the ready-made idiom suggests, ‘out of the blue’. then so be it. but what followed from this simple act had much a tremendous effect such she felt compelled to leave everything else and hold on onto this simple and direct order of things. Or non-order of things. But no matter, no matter.
***
Time has become relatively short as I write this. It is as if there’s so much to do while at the same time less things to care about. No longer do I want to spend my time doing nothing; this idea once seemed to be attractive now seemed dull in comparison. There are things to do, things to understand that require the most concentrated attention that cannot be meant for anything else in the world.
We shall look upon world in indifference, nothing but a world filled with people pleasers and affairs of the forgotten and abandoned lovers, children with peculiar innocence. The world may be rotten; it is rotten, and we strive not to make seem not so rotten, all the while forgetting what is never rotten to begin with.
Oh these worldly obligations. How I wish to be free of them. I want nothing to do with these people, these states of affairs, these institutions and laws. We wish not to be tied down by earthly matters.
I need time to read, to write, to be alone, to dream, to think, to ponder, to find clarity, to find peace.
perkaraperkara 