Tag: trainspotting

it flashes before your eyes

random excerpts for those who have lost their way but must go on (or whatever ramblings after the most odiously poorly written entries for the past few uh, months)


hari ini aku witness benda paling menarik di dunia. some dude walking on the pavement with his shoes on, foxwalking. atau, jalan jengket. how the heck did he pulled that one off. admiration aku sungguh tinggi. mamat jalan jengket sungguh wow.
hari ini ada orang mesej aku dan kata nama dia aisyh (atau spelling lain yang boleh di-derive dari situ). aku malas balas sebab dia mention fb. where the fuck did you get my number. mungkin roommate aku sendiri, tapi aku malas semak semula. teruk betul.
sila bawa phone ke mana-mana, terutamnya bila mengikut orang. mana tahu kamu boleh end up jalan tengah-tengah panas sambil minta tolong cashier mahu pinjam phone setelah beli benda paling murah dalam kedai tersebut. dan dia tak bagi.
bila ada orang salah eja sesuatu, dia sangat kasihan. terutamanya perkataan mencarut. cuba eja douchebag dengan elok, bukan duecebag. maksud lain sudah. melainkan secara deliberate. tapi kalau kamu eja douchebag sebagai ducebag dan duecebag dalam dua seperate entry aku dah tahu.
juga, jangan terlalu suka menghina orang dan buat deliberately obscure jokes dengan harapan someone will get it. most of them never do. okeh, bukan menghina, rather noting upon striking features of a person/speech/writing. in most probability, your antiques are best reserved to yourself and internet forums.
kadang-kadang juga aku akan meletakkan post title yang akan reference mana-mana lagu, dengan harapan, juga, that someone akan point out dengan excitednya. but most of them never do. ini juga sedih. mungkin juga terlalu obscure. damn.
if you are hoping some more self deprecating, self analysing, finger pointing, event covering, name dropping, romance conflicts, soulmate comparing, future reflections, advice giving, here, then you’re out of luck. i’d rather be smiling stupidly like Mark Renton at the of the Trainspotting movie than write more Junk Dilemmas. or something similiar. everything here is rubbish.
okay go read the book and watch the movie. and then re-read The Elusive Mr Hunt for the kicks. and then quote quote quote.
No, it’s not bad, but it’s not great either. And in your heart you kind of know that although it sounds all right, it’s actually just shite.

tamat.

because i don’t care

This is out of boredom and eagerness to write something before actually going on a internet hiatus (mungkin) in order to indulge reading Trainspotting (Irvine Welsh) I’m only through the first twenty pages but I kept laughing every five minutes. It’s hilarious, and sad, in many different ways. In thick Scottish accent. It’s a kinda feeling you get when you read To Kill A Mockingbird. Except that it’s about doing heroin instead of childhood innocence and scary neighbours (they’re called cunts instead)

I’m in a good mood since morning, save for my lips are a little chapped, so what the heck.

It is September after all, the month of supremacy.

***

Sometimes, I could be the largest ignorant in the world when it comes to trivial things like ironing every inch of your shirt, or whether you should write properly for a submitted homework, or why people like to fuss over different styles of wearing tudung. It puzzles me, actually. Because I couldn’t be bothered.

I don’t see the point, really, whether people would care if you’d wear green or purple, whether you’d have different hairstyles, and so on, and so forth. They’d notice, yes, but they won’t care. Even if they do, it wouldn’t last more than a minute. Or only a friendly gesture like “Oh, cool shirt dude” and you’d go thinking about it for weeks. As if you’d get a fucking medal. Naturally, I don’t give an inkling.

This may, in effect, contribute to the fact that I get bored most of the time when surrounded by a lot of normal people, in classes, and hanging out with the same people (it doesn’t matter who). But I’m trying to be more decent. Every single effing day.

Perhaps I do, actually care, you know. But I shall always regard many things as unimportant, because what matters most is the idea, and not the presentation. But of course, a presentation/action of an idea/thought, must convey the greatness of an idea, in order for people to appreciate/understand what is to be conveyed, but in that aspect, I fail miserably.

This failure of mine, in return, results in such awkwardness, tactlessness, indifference, boorishness, incoherence, sarcasm, and all that shite.

Because I know, deep in my own consciousness, that I have a real different conception on morality, that it tortures me whenever I don’t feel guilt over anything I say, do, or think. Lack of remorse, they say. There’s an actual term for it, actuallyLike the stereotypical idiom goes, as we can imply here, I “see things in a different light”. Ugh.

So when you finally care, you don’t really look like it. You end up offending people, undermining them, confuse them, make them go wtf, and whatever comes next.