Category: Uncategorized

the ultimate cool movies list

egh, so here goes. i’m not much of a movie buff, since i don’t go to cinemas that much, and the only time i watched a movie twice was Inception. no theory guessing here, but i postively think Cal is still stuck in limbo. as in, up to the point he went to in limbo with Ariadne was real, but he never really got out of that. Or did he?
but i do have a penchant for awesome movies, which somehow differs greatly from the vast collection of some other people. so i have taken the liberty to collect and scourge movies from internet for my own viewing pleasure, and would only mention them only to very few people. i think i only know about five of them. sad, isn’t it?
at any rate, here are the movies i think everyone should watch, if they somehow are not content with the idea that movies are just for relaxing times. entertaining, yes, but it has to be cleverly done. neatly edited. memorable dialogues and characters. interesting themes. witty.
i don’t know how i should go about this list, so yeah, bear with me. no reviews, because i’m too lazy to type and think. click on the links.
I’ll stop for now. the rest will come later.

ielts

aku dah agak, yang writing aku teruk gila. benci betul. tak guna punya pensel buruk yang disediakan dan susah dipegang serta dakwat tak cukup pekat. serta pemadam yang kurang hebat.

okeh, sesi menyalahkan diri sendiri.
inchoherent, incomplete sentences, ramblings, not cohesive, messy, ugly writing, barely legible has no structure at all, incorrect (also unnecessary) usage of words. agh sial. ‘utilitarian’ what the fuck?
tu la, lain kali sila fikir macam mana nak jawab sesuatu test. dan fikir macamana nak buat perenggan. inchoherent, incomplete sentences, ramblings, not cohesive, messy, ugly writing, has no structure. agh sial. tapi tak akan ada lain kali. ini mungkin kali terakhir aku akan tulis sesuatu essay yang akan di-access oleh examiners. academically, at least. jadi fuck it.

9,9, 6.5, 7.5.
an 8.
just as i expected. but could’ve been better.
should’ve listened to reefqy.
ah, abaikan.

stumble and fumble

all mysterious figures dancing around us, fluttering like butterflies, flutter fly pass you by, knowing not who, for one who dances never actually stops moving, ever so changing shapes, they never actually show you their real faces, or their true character. something like that elephant perceived from different perspectives. one can never gather the whole pieces.
so they say we should deconstruct everything, and see things as they really are. look with the eye of the heart, and not with the eye of men. because easy it is to be deceived. because, in the unreal they imagine the real, in the real they see the unreal; they who feed on wrong thoughts never acheive the real.
so they say.

wholesome

like someone who thinks he has seen and understand everything, well, pretty much everything, every single time he looks at something, he sees something, he hears something, he reads something, he could not help but laugh. it’s not even meant to be condescending to say the least, but rather a certain gaiety about it. he loves all things, all things beautiful and lofty, has a hearty outlook towards life. hearty, not to be meant as he loves life; in fact, he quite despises it.

but hearty nevertheless.

kisah kecelakaan 4

sejak aku berpindah ke hostel daripada apartment yang indah, macam-macam kejadian melibatkan monyet berlaku. macam sial. di tempat aku, monyet sangat banyak. jadi kamu akan nampak monyet berkeliaran di dahan-dahan pokok, atas bumbung, tepi jalan, atas pagar, tepi tingkap bilik kamu, dan sebagainya.
mula mula kau tak kisah, sebab kalau kau sentiasa tutup tingkap, tak mungkin monyet boleh masuk. kalau kau bukak dan ada orang berjaga pun, takkan monyet nak masuk kut.

kali pertama encounter aku, tingkap bukak sikit. monyet tak boleh masuk. tapi dia lepak jap kat luar tu. bila dah jadi macam ni, perkara yang paling best selain ketuk-ketuk tingkap kau boleh buat ialah ambik kamera dan ambik gambarnya lepas tu tunjuk balik kat dia dan buat dia tenung gambar diri sendiri dan marah.

macam ni.
jadi kau rasa agak hebat sambil mempermainkan dia, sebab dia berada di sebelah luar cermin.
you can’t hurt me, kata kau.

nampaknya aku salah.

kali kedua, yakni, hari ini, pukul lapan pagi serangan bermula. sebab bilik panas gila babi, kau bukak tingkap, lepas tu monyet menyelinap masuk dan curi roti gardenia coklat kau. kau tengok dia makan sambil buang plastik.

takpe, 60 sen je, kata kau.

tapi shit, tengah hari tu dia datang lagi. tapi bilik sebelah. sebuku roti pula diambil. balik balik kelas kau nak beristirehat tiba tiba dengar orang jerit jerit macam shit. what the fuck, kata kau. kau datang kau lihat dia terjun dari almari. wow. dia pergi tingkap.
woi, kata kau, menyergahnya.
dia pandang, tenung kau, dan tiba tiba turun ke lantai dan kejar kau.
babi. kau buka langkah dan lari pergi ke bilik lain. those things have teeth and claws, y’ know.
lima belas saat kemudian kau kembali sambil lihat dia monyet yang tengah menghadap cermin, menatap muka diri sendiri. what the fuck, kata kau. dia pun cabut cermin tu dan keluar bersamanya, apparently puas hati dengan kehenseman diri. atau mungkin sebab insiden kamera itu. entah.
lepas tu dia blah.
memang celaka.
P/S; selamat menyambut bulan puasa. matlamat aku, macam biasa, kurangkan kata-kata mencarut. terima kasih.

try honesty

teka siapa dan apa.
somehow, camera aku dipenuhi gambar-gambar orang as opposed to benda. hmm. juga, baru-baru ini, jumpa banyak orang-orang lama. apa mahu buat tak tahu. crack a joke or two. cerita betapa bosannya perkara-perkara di tempat masing-masing. bercakap pasal mutual friends. bukak cerita lama. pandang dari jauh. buat bodoh. buat buat tak kenal.
haih, kamu tahu aku cepat segan.
tapi yang lebih tepat, aku malas.

august reading list

to be compiled.

Can someone recommend me something highly amusing, yet at the same time satirical, witty, hilarious, though never stoops to something you call downright stupid, laden with conversations and dialogs, or perhaps with lots and lots of irony?
It’s tiring reading serious stuff. Too much philosophy and ideas and concepts to grasp all at once.I need a good laugh, one of these days.
Expand. I’m thinking of adding Chuck Palahniuk on the list but dunno where to start. On the other hand, I’d probably pick Herman Hesse’s stuff before moving on to Siddartha next month. Also there’s Irvine Welsh waiting to be read.
Ah. Help me. Local books would be fine. I’m waiting someone to buy me Tapai by Hishammudin Rais. Sebab ada reference kepada Bob Harris. and some other stuff. I just don’t have the money to buy them books no more.
Tolong.

all the things i’ve done

it was not embarrassment as much as it was guilt, but i guess i could not define it certainly, or rather, justifying-ly, without the head bowing low, or without a prolonged moment of self-abasement. i guess i could not really explain it.
of how many times do i keep writing the words like reconciliation and their synonyms, over the course of these years, applied on numerous occasions, different names, different places, different situations, few quite similar but never quite the same, i was never quite, say, initiated, or compelled to do so, even when it calls itself to.
why?
reconciliation is, to make peace with, to bring together with, to be content, to harmonize, to be at acceptance with whatever things, people, ideas, authority, god, etc. this, is something i was never quite good at, because eh, i don’t know. it’s no fun. to be content with something, someone, without knowing why but the fact it must be done, because that is the social convention, is a most gruesome task. perhaps you do know why, only you don’t want to. you don’t want the troubles that follows after it. perhaps it’s not much as trouble as it is burden. not to imply it is burden, but rather a blend of irritation, loathsome, waste of effort and time, and mostly, yes, guilt.
which brings us to humility. somebody should really rip me off my ego. it is not ego per se, but ego as defined as rather a sense of not wanting to belong somewhere, be it either up or down, even at the middle, that is mediocre. exalted. transcended. we want to be both the good and the bad, thereby allowing ourselves to be mocked at, but only by ourselves. being your own critic, and to receive none whatsoever from other people, calling them insignificant.
gee, how fucked up is that?

a room of one’s own

flashback sekolah rendah.

waktu kelas, semua budak-budak tengah senyap, tiba-tiba aku mengamuk. atau rather, enggan melakukan sesuatu sehingga membuatkan aku sebegitu. kerja rumah agaknya. mostly arguing dengan cikgu. aku suspek cikgu bm. entah. tak ingat. mata-mata semua berpaling ke arah aku. aku serabut.
aku keluar.