no use to speak/discuss things over twitter. slow and ineffective.
i suppose if there is a reason to take up architecture it would be this; the composition of space. if my mind is a colossal mess (the colossus tee-hee), if my odd relationships with people is a wreck, if i am ineffectually unperturbed establishing conditions necessary to sustain life in the most acceptable manner deemed by society (ah, society!), if all my writings (ugh) seem to amount to erratic ramblings, rubbish of a mindless girl (ha-ha), i’d take comfort in the arrangement of my room. after all, it’s only concrete, physical yet personal thing i seem to possess command of.
the task of re-ordering, re-arranging your things in your room is almost a religious thing to me. i’d pile everything on the floor, unearth every single piece of clothing (from the closet, even the hanged one), take out all of my books. in short, the act of laying bare my things, and unravel all the things i use, and slowly picking it up one by one and revisit and purge whenever i feel it has grown its necessity. this takes a whole day (or four hours) of course. imagine how long it would take to do something similar to myself.
which is why i like to collect boxes, of any kind. the box is locked, it has no exit. a sort of prelude before collecting furniture, or having a house or something. in northern parts the wood and logs are supposedly cheap, perhaps someday i’ll build one later. like thoreau i want to build and live in my own abode. which now reminds me i have to read an essay later.
also, in another (another) parallel universe, i would have been happy taking up urban planning. the arrangement of cities. the integration of land use. the effectiveness of public spaces. i’ve told this to a certain someone about a year ago one night while she was driving me away from the airport, whom i never spoke again to, but nevertheless told her that the age twenty three is the right age (her age) to do everything. the tipping from adolescence into adulthood. much mulling over had been done and it is now simply time to proceed.
of course, i said this with the conviction that the ideas gained before you are twenty five are the ones that stick with your life (kata william james, tapi ignore me, please. i am uh, fangirling here. or back then, thanks to the essential five people in psychology book you lent me).
i am not twenty three yet, nor do i have some mythical attachment to it, but ah, ‘ripe’ was the very word i said to her. of course, at the time i was obsessed with the subject. even now, somewhere inside this laptop of mine, lies several ebooks and unread lectures on the urban revolution which i simply don’t have the time to get into yet.
yes, yes, i am never lazy. i feign too much.
someone might cross me off as pretentious now. let them do that. i am happier this way.
perkaraperkara 