and then drank chai and zimtschneke at the mosque.
every time the urge to write occurs, the time does not permit, the space and time and the people that surround you dulls all the noise. i have been overstimulated, this has been a fun christmas ny break, but all one day.
there is a new presence in the city, and i find the occasional conversations that emerge from K and I in very similar veins of thought. the all or nothing attitude, the disgruntled look and aloofness of the whole world, perhaps there is both innocence and brilliance in this person. i shall not be bored in the next two years at the very least.
parti sahne – S’s birthday in the form of disjointed joints of thought followed by a house / techno concert. two brudis arguing for your presence, but i let the men fight on my behalf. it pays to be smol? with ecstasy, everything will sound great but for the thousands of menschen looking for meaning in a beat drop, will truth be found there alas? i linger in the background or hover above the smoke lighting nervous cigarettes – one muss learn how to calm down.
afterwards – watching love bloom in the air between two friends, the hesitation-shyness-wonder-dance-play of what cannot yet be spoken of, i am amused.
work politics can boring, but colleagues and their fear, hopes, dreams and that quasi-guilt-responsibility towards the homeland can be certainly interesting.
christmas – old and new friends, hopes for the future while seeing what has passed by, hurt feelings trying to mend themselves, and the impulsive need to clean a friend’s house.
and finally, what i am really here for today
how to identify a narcissistic blameless turd
if it took several people years to disown a person, i had the luxury and fortune to know, recognize and discard a person entirely in three days. one must not fall for enlightening conversations, which might seem to look educated at first, but there is a tendency to overexplain (mansplain?) things in every setting as if to demonstrate his genius and troubled personality or faults of society. admitting to being an incel without joking or not. thinks (read: condemning) reading a book on alchemy and mysticism is some sort of dabbling into chrystals and magick without even knowing tradition or history (bro, have you even read Schuon/Guenon?). feels oneself blameless in every occasion, yet will accuse another person as irrationally mad, but will also paint every one as a perpetrator, while using passive words “X did this [insert verb] this to me”, as if he himself has had no agency or will in anything happening in his life, ever. is stupid but will not admit a lack of knowledge. think i am fooled by a british accent, f that. is averse to any criticism, but is very salty about it that a grudge will be felt 50 years on, then haunts you about it every 5 minutes. speaks mental health of a person is a spooky way as if its a bad thing but will not admit he is absolutely royally deranged. is unable to laugh. exhausting.
perkaraperkara 