(i’ve recently discovered that joy division is actually good)
i’ve taken my small little crushes in strides these days. a small restraint, but sometimes i say stupid things anyway that ends up being ignored, making me embaressed by each gesture. the key is not to overdo yourself.
jogging, trying to believe myself to be good and not depressed. then running over the bridge. pizza. conversation about work. tired. come on i am more depressed than iu are. ai av no kitchen. whiskey. tell me a secret you would never tell anyone. past, current and future girlfriends. or two current ones? what do i do. i like you too but i don’t want to fall in love you with. i give myself too much. you have principles. second round. that’s fine. who is she, why? what is lie and what is truth? i will never figure you out. that’s the point. you know too much. you don’t keep secrets that well. there are facts and then there are secrets. i keep secrets, but facts are nothing to me. do you have talisker(talisman?) skye. ney aber we haben ein andere, auch gut. ok dann zweimal. should we go to them? nah they are boring? let’s go have tea at my place. uk girls show up. elections. why don’t you join us? i don’t like iu guys. no jk. german conversations. double, triple hugs in crowded places. bye bye. tea? he calls one of the girlfriends, i fold my laundry and read gai eaton. according to him, i will never feel happy here. art (in islam) was only good when there was faith – a sense of infiniteness – everything else is meaningless. we dont distinguish Shakespeare and… Kafka or i don’t know, Crazy Rich Asians. european architecture is isoloting, godlessness reigns, logic takes places in squares and boxes and natural selection – the human spirit – then automation. there is value in slowness, there is prayer and remembrance in the art of handmade craft – now everything is plastic, instant – people have no wonder. buenos noches. feets and shoulders. i am not afraid of staring at you. why do you think i am smart? because you can read meanings behind every word. not everyone can do that. yes. we are equal. coding, texting the girl in london. she’s jealous of us, you know. i don’t think so. five minutes of silence and sleep. why is your stomach grumbling. that’s my art, it’s too fast – i am stressed. or you can sleep on the couch. no, office, tomorrow. ok. ok. ciao. hug and two kisses, i at the door.
in another world then.
perkaraperkara 