I’ve thought myself stronger, but falter, again and again. I guess we try to compensate and substitute lost things, lost habits and rituals for even lost people to nullify its absence, but rather than making ourselves feel better, it feels even more horrible inside. I take comfort in small pleasures such as the sun rising and the rays of sunshine and blue sky splashing into the room, holding another’s hands and enjoying silent companionship that isn’t weighed in reality. But what I seem to want is just to escape myself and be calm and content and grateful and move on ahead.
Be ahead of all parting, as though it already were
behind you, like the winter that has just gone by.
For among these winters there is one so endlessly winter
that only by wintering through it all will your heart survive.Be forever dead in Eurydice-more gladly arise
into the seamless life proclaimed in your song.
Here, in the realm of decline, among momentary days,
be the crystal cup that shattered even as it rang.Be-and yet know the great void where all things begin,
the infinite source of your own most intense vibration,
so that, this once, you may give it your perfect assent.To all that is used-up, and to all the muffled and dumb
creatures in the world’s full reserve, the unsayable sums,
joyfully add yourself, and cancel the count.
perkaraperkara 