Recuperating

I miss my lonely hours, and to acquire them again after so many years of living with my family makes me calm again. 

To wake up and feel unbridled by the affair of others and to look forward for the simplicity of living makes me calm. 

Talking to people truthtfully, I feel a bit of relief. I have lived a life full of falseness and denying certain aspects of myself that I was suffering within.

Last week, I finally broke down my ego and chose to seek proper professional help again after so many years of self denial. Yes, I do suffer from depression that come in bouts and moments of self questioning, and it is taking a toll on my surroundings that it is a miracle that I am functioning at all. 

But I do not know, whether this whole process of seeing a psychiatrist again will go through. Hopefully, an appointment shall be made soon. My brother does not know of course, and so does my family. Except F, who has witnessed all my craziness. I could not ask for a better person, yet I feel like I am taking advantage of his kindness. 

Anyway, I am okay. Hopefully, these six months will pass by swiftly, and that I may embark on more travels. To learn more, to serve more, to be more, and myself as the only measure.