Is what I feel these days, with no thoughts that occupy my head, no interests that springs up in the heart. I look upon the world not with fresh eyes or enthusiasm, just a long drag of a heartbeat that stretches for days and days that turns into a week, hoping soon it would turn into a month and somehow I shall emerge into the future unscathed.
But I yearn to seek and seek earnestly the truth of this world and what role do I fill in and how do I slowly, but surely achieve that.
I’ve been in a limbo since last August, but 8 months on, I should have no regrets. It is this path that I have chosen that has gotten me to places I wouldn’t otherwise dream of.
I no longer have anxiety attacks at night, but I do wander aimlessly on evenings staring at tea cups and odd ceilings and unable to disengage myself from constantly seeking what is out there.
Strange enough, I rarely, and very rarely write. It has become somewhat a difficult task for me.
Two years on, I have a feeling that people will continue to disintegrate from each other and move further and further away into the onslaught of life. I already feel it, but I never thought of myself to be this bad. In the face of adversity and a slow dragging future, how does one move forward?
Again, I do not know what I am saying.
perkaraperkara 