It’s been fifteen days since I’ve received new of my admission to a German university. I’ve been speaking of it for the past 6 months and to have closer come to reality makes it feel that I am trying… in life.
I realize that while pursuing a postgraduate studies won’t solve any problems I have of late (all inconsequential, actually), but at least it offers a temporary reprieve from reality back home.
I talk to Fand A (I have now become of the married ones, heh) and all they speak of trying to find something they can do and want to do. I myself am clueless but the fact that I have a job that pays somewhat well, I try to offer them tips and some information.
I think that the problem with us was that we have never tried to go discover things outside of ourselves and the comfortable path that was laid ahead of us. We were just, carried along the way, able to make mistakes because somehow we just know where the track lies. The track being a structured education since primary school – a string of exams, a scholarship, then university. but then what?
So yes, here I am again, trying to string my head and my heart together in wanting to make sense what is it that I actually want out of life.
perkaraperkara 