I haven’t written much, have I?
I am always expecting things and situations to become perfect without necessarily making them to be ideal for myself to do the things that I want. This of course sounds very vague and general, but you get the gist. I don’t try enough, and I am afraid of trying for this irrational fear of inadequacy.
When I look back upon last year, I would mostly call it a period of readjustment and to become vulnerable to a lot of things. Jobs, environment, and this question of love. I have in fact, twice cancelled plans for a wedding/engagement, broke up, hooked up with someone else for a short while, all this while meeting different people while maintaining an air of indifference, when at home I shall become a puddle of mess. Emotionally I am in torn, but I have none to blame but myself, but eventually at one point one has to stop moping and crying and toughen up and look ahead.
So, embarking this new year ahead of me, tonight I shall board a flight to Seoul, with my sister, for a nine day trip around the country. We shall be staying at Seho’s house, someone I found on Airbnb (the next step before couchsurfing, I suppose), then to Jeju Island and Busan. I’ve never been interested in Korea as a country, but I suppose the less expectations you have, the more pleasant things will turn out.
When I return, perhaps I shall review books on a regular basis.
Till then.
Theme song for the year : David Bowie’s Modern Love (from the brilliant movie Frances Ha)
perkaraperkara 
Like this one.
“It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it and they love you and you know it but it’s a party and you’re both talking to other people and you’re laughing and shining and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive, or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life and it’s funny and sad but only because this life will end and it’s this secret world that exists right there. In public. Unnoticed. That no one else knows about. It’s sort of like how they say that other dimensions exist all around us but we don’t have the ability to perceive them. That’s what I want out of a relationship. Or just life, I guess.”
LikeLiked by 1 person