So I decided to spend the remaining weeks at home. There will time, time to play, time to read, time to sleep, time for the nightly cycle to the mosque, time for shopping and time to write. One contemplates home but see it as an impossibility. To bargain time (and money) is not wise. If one needs to focus on the self, one needs to remove oneself from the family. There will time to visit Auburn and the promise of Nasi Ayam. There will be time for chocolate cake and chocolate chip biscuits. There will be time for festivities, for late night rendezvous, firing up the charcoal and burning satay beneath the starry night. There will time for goodbyes and encounters and hellos. There will be time for annoyances that must be suppressed.
I have made a reading list, and know not whether I shall follow them through. I must go through at least half of them, anyway, for it is a requirement for the semester. Add this to our spiritual nourishment in Ramadan, I try to finish the Quran in the allocated time. This is a new feat for me, so I t tell it to people such that I shall be encouraged to finish. In the beginning of Ramadan, I met Dr Salleh, a professor of Theology, out of pure chance, and he says (among other things) that finishing is more understanding at this point, understanding takes more than a lifetime, so one must set one’s priorities straight.
Like Hanna Madeline, I am currently at the centre of a plot. But I shall not choose, I refuse to choose. To ruminate over this takes the life out of me, so I shall leave, leave things as they are.
perkaraperkara 