initiation

the woman spoke of initiation yesterday during our little communion in the evening. that by the end of the summer, each of us would be asked whether first, we would like to be recruited, further up the hierarchy (an imaginary one), and become one of those sisters whose sole aim to give give give. as if their only aim to be generous in time energy wealth and to spend according their to capacity to our little juniors (in the foreseeable future).

i say, okay, grinning madly from one ear to another, much to her annoyance, because she seems to take this thing too seriously, too rigidly, too ardently. what’s life without a little gaiety?

i say to her, opening my little book of quotes and say, first, learn to forgive yourself.