tadi saya tengok perempuan perempuan berforum yang tak berselingkuh pun dengan satu sama lain bercakap mengenai kebebasan wanita. masing masing punya aspirasi sendiri, agenda tersendiri, amarah sendiri, melaung yang bukan bukan antara satu sama lain, bercakap mengenai hala tuju, tapi mana hala tuju mu wahai wanita.
no references at all except on the current context, and only the things you encounter in real life (as a woman), never to really dwell on the problem in general. court cases? how limited a scope. except the old woman that is, but her dissent towards the patriarch (and the Word, in order to bypass it), seems full of pent up anger. to take a point of neutrality, to hold a stick demanding rights for women – liberty and all that – seemed pointless to you. everything is dated, but you haven’t been inside a working place (how should you know?) yet – so you can’t say a proper thing yet. “most men are idiots”, you say, and then keep on labeling yourself as an islamic feminist. pfffff. bosan betul. baik pi baca shariati.
how to change a stigma?
how to begin a cultural revolution?
how to educate?
laying down a framework without filling it with consciousness is pointless.
*
to shake, shake everything. if one lulls lament in deep sighing breaths one would never get to anything. one must be shook, tremble with fear, violently, to the point of desperation, to the point of suspension, to the critical moment, if one is to leap into anything.
(i am reminded of Muhammad’s first revelation secara tiba tiba)
*
a sudden privation, the already mute woman barred her life once more, locking the gates for us to glimpse into her soul.
*
of course, i can’t write about you except to you. what use is there to moan for a presence when one is in communion already? a union is in order. with all words exchanged, how can i ever escape here?
*
perkaraperkara 