***
justifying reasons for marrying a person, or loving at least, by listing out her qualifications and where she works is so horrifying and glorifying, as if it is something rational and strategic (calculated) instead of being, i don’t know, spontaneous.
***
short reading list (without being unrealistic) to be read within the month (or two), because you are an engineering student, bukan some budak sastera.
- Life of Pi
- Immortality
- Risalah untuk Kaum Muslimin
- start to seriously understand In the Shade of the Quran vol. 30 (because i’m too lazy to launch on a full scale commentary) now that i have the book once again at my side…
- some of Pessoa, Plath, thrown in once in a while as usual…. and shit from the Paris Review kalau rajin. turns out the previous owner is one of the law lecturers here. how interesting.
- malas nak bukak kotak tengok buku apa lagi ada~
***
if you’re already resolved on the matter, better start to get your act up together and start paving your way towards it, instead of flamboyantly floating here and there without a fleeting care.
***
goodbyes are awkward, no matter how sad they are. a temporal goodbye is easier than an eternal one. but you remain speechless and terrible at goodbyes. they prospect of having to say farewell to everyone, each personalized, so you better come up with some remark no matter how offbeat they seem, or resort to the general good luck in your life, hope to see you again, dear. strange how the same thing happened thing months ago; you were incapable of tears, (it wasn’t in your constitution anyway to cry over goodbyes), so you hid in one corner and said to another, confiding that you, have a heart of stone.
***
ahead of all parting? nak cari tak?
*bukak buku baru rilke*
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it’s twelve already. i’m 21. a year annihilated.
***
i’m waiting for that phone call.
perkaraperkara 