the unloading of words that are badly disconnected to each other.
i am fearful. i do not know how am i supposed to keep up with all of this. i do not know how to proceed.
and then you might read this and feel as if i am getting morbid and grumpy and that it bores you.
bear with me, i say, and all shall be well.
but sometimes i dream of people pointing knives at my throat.
so pregnant are my words.
shall i die before i ever bloom into anything?
shall everything burst before i give birth into something
what bad metaphors, tell me, do you miss your mother, now?
you want to return to the womb, forever cocooned.
what now?
what next?
what love?
***
and she is eager to speak to everyone. look at her as she tries to dart words to people, all inaudible all jumbled up in one incomprehensible clandestine, one just can smile politely and say yeah alright sure.
“Pass me the nat”
“The what?”
“The nat”
“You mean the the nuts?”
“Yeah”
“Alright”
woman, you are losing in all this. you keep saying you, are a loner, but all i see the devouring eagerness to deliver. what day? what night? what crime? what lights? what joke? what may? i am tattered, battered, obscured from the loud music that blast through the empty hall where men and women from the region of samoa settled nice and trite dance awkwardly into the night. acceptance? here, have a sentence. you call yourself elvis? let us roll into something, because frankly your costume is obtrusive and my mind is attacking all that is received, for in times like this there is no better work than to diss. and the king of libya stands and struts off his muscles and bones grinding into shame grinding into women yet you dare ask me esok semayang raya ke tak?
amboi.
such juxtapositions are unacceptable. or am i one who is still untainted, and unable to perceive, how the world at large has come to be?
***
perkaraperkara 