let the moon be my sole witness

i, in my sheer brilliance, decided to donate blood in the evening, in this month of ramadan, and decided to cycle home after only having milkshake, and lo and behold, barely maintaining my speed, i stopped halfway, and walked, carrying the weight of the world that is my bicycle, palpably light, for i was atlas himself, sat on the bench twenty meters from the house, gazed at the grinning moon trying not to faint, ears buzzing with steel-like sounds, and aaaah, puked in front of the beer, wine, spirit and store. 
they shan’t suspect a thing.