i don’t know what else to say.
and now i am stupefied, and i think nothing is worthwhile. maybe everything is worthwhile, maybe crossing the street and be talking to strangers just because you recognize they’re malaysians and ask where they are going and decide to come with em after twenty seconds is just maddening. maybe her reading your blog a long time ago (which is absolutely, wonderfully, lol) is somewhat surprising. maybe watching idiotic fan girls who suddenly decided to storm through the fucking crowd, pushing everyone along the way, the dastard absent melon heads raising hands just to say, hey sean, hey ryu take a look and be forever enchanted is the way one should go about their way on the world. i don’t know. maybe meeting an actual someone who suddenly confesses she wants to be a writer somewhat surprises you, or how they have read more murakami than you (but there is simply no loss, anyway), or how you could lie on the carpet all day just fucking talking rambling to your other friend while facing the ceiling. that is the way to go. that is how everybody goes. just spacing out one day after another, only to be regretting for fifty minutes just to start to do it all over. i am short of money. i don’t know what i have done to myself. i’ve been eating practically nothing but milk and any other addition of ice cream or honey or some flavored nesquick and incredible amounts of coffee just to survive over here. squandered.
people are getting depressingly isolated from each other. everything has become absolutely clinic. cordial. what is there left to say. people run out of topics eventually. how am i to live with anyone after a year.
as a rule, i hate anyone who sleeps after subuh.
as a rule, i must be allowed to stay limp for as long as i want to.
morning are grey. i hate this.
surrealism my ass. apa yang surreal nya?
i am not to live any more. i am to go on a automatic mode.
perkaraperkara 